7 posts tagged “sleep”

This sucks.  I should be in bed.  I'm tired, and tired of being tired (tired of being admired?  Let's face it -- I'm pooped).  But somehow I seem to be unable to make the concession to sleep.  Going to sleep is admitting that the day is over, and I've done nothing useful all day.  I should try to be productive; work toward the goals of getting more money (i.e., actually billing some of my clients), or a cleaner house.  But all I can manage to do is randomly wander the Internets, clicking from site to site, consuming everything yet producing nothing in return.  My attention wanders, like an ADD-infested rat on Ritalin.  Quickly jerking from one idea to the next, to yet another, than back to the first again for a few more minutes.   Then repeat three or four times.

I'm tired, but not sleepy.  There are plenty of stories about people who get bursts of energy in the middle of the night and will go on binge projects -- clean their entire house, write a book, or create a masterful work of art in one sitting.  I want to be one of those people.  To wake up Wife at 6 am, dreary yet elated from the stupendous results of my project.  Babe, look what I did while you were busy sleeping!  The place is gorgeous!  The painting is a masterpiece.  The pottery...well, I don't have a wheel in the house.  Just way more imagination than sense.

As yet another manifestation of my depression, I bought a new computer.  I've been planning on buying around this time anyway; waiting for a certain conflux of technologicial events -- Intel's Penryn family of CPUs to become affordable and Vista Service Pack 1.  Well, they're out now, so with much trepedation I bent over, picked up the phone, and called Dell.  Approximately $2,500 later I have one brand, spanking (that always sounds so kinky) new Dell XPS 420.  Four gigs of RAM, E8500 CPU @ 3.16G, 2 x 500G hard drives, nVidia 8800GT 512M video card, and yes, two monitors.  I went nuts and got the 24" with adjustible stand, and every video/audio input the guys at the factory could come up with.  Next to it is my "old" 17" digital, fully-adjustable LCD screen so I've got my two monitor honey pie.  I'm going to keep it for six years, just like my previous ones, so it's not as outlandish as it may seem.

But all this system is is a giant enabler.  Letting; nay, helping me multitask, making it very simple for me to do a bit of A, then on to a bit of B, then some of C, and finally back to A.  But Just for a minute, because B and C are still calling for me.  Having a new computer let's me run 30 IE windows, Outlook, 10 Firefox tabs, iTunes, and a mapping program all at once, each working on a different project.  It's just amazing (I know I keep coming back to that word, but I can't think of anything more appropriate right now).  Technology as an enabler.  Who woulda thunk?

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved zolpidem as the generic version (or equivalent) of Ambien. This generic drug became available on April 24, 2007. Generic drugs typically cost less than their brand-name counterparts and can provide the same health benefit. Your specific savings will depend on your prescription drug plan.

Same active ingredient, same health benefits
The FDA has indicated that generic versions-like zolpidem-can be expected to work equally as well as the original brand-name drugs. Zolpidem has been tested to ensure that it has the same active ingredients, dosage form, quality, strength, and purity as Ambien.

Start saving with zolpidem
If you use Ambien, ask your doctor to help you start saving money by allowing your pharmacist to substitute it with zolpidem.

I'm not saying things are perfect.  They're not.

I'm not saying everything's been pushed under the rug and forgotten.  It hasn't. 

But I do seem to have come around to a new-found sense of love and respect for Wife (please, hold your applause until the end).  I really missed her when I was in Iowa for a few days.  I'm making an effort to try and be more emotionally connected to her.  Look deep into her eyes more often.  Don't take it for granted that she's always going to do the dishes and clean the cat box (in fact, I plan to clean the bathroom tomorrow morning).

Then we get to play with our new digital camera --yea!!!!.  Lots and lots of pictures of the boys (our three cats) will be forthcoming in the near future.  Maybe even a couple of us.  Or me.  Then again, maybe not so much.

Right now I'm just really tired.  I've been running in an Ambien Haze (wasn't that Jimi Hendrix song?) for the last couple of hours, and loving every minute of it.  So, I'm going to sleep while there's still sleep to be gotten.  And cuddle with Wife bunches.  I don't know what changed, but I'm starting to really like her. 

Maybe I've figured out some great mystery?  Maybe I've come back to my senses.  Or, maybe I'm just pretending.  Either way, it's been 15 years together, 10 of them married, and I've been faithful for all of them.  I think that speaks volumes about me.

There's nothing quite like sleep when you're tired.  I got 10 hours last night, and I feel incredibly alive today.  I also woke up with such a huge boner I had to bend over to pee, but hey, I'm not complaining.  All I need are two or three more nights like this, a surgical removal of all stress from my system, and I'll be fine.  Oh, and that wonderful job in New York that I dreamed about wouldn't hurt, either.

Nothing new on the infertility front.  I started looking at the two huge folders the doctor gave us, but they're mainly legal disclaimer forms.  My next step is to talk with a couple of friends who have gone through this and see what their thoughts and experiences were.  For now, I've got to run to a couple of clients.  Hopefully, I'll post more tonight or tomorrow.

It's been a pancake and french fry kind of day -- nothing seems to go together.

Wife 1.0 has the day off and I took a vacation day so we could spend some time together.  Except I forgot she had an appointment for the ultrasound of her uterus (everything looked fine, btw) this morning.  Then our oldest cat (he's 14 and diabetic, so we watch him closely.  Plus, he's still kinda cute...) started limping, so we took him to the vet first thing this morning.  Then wife got another appointment downtown, so I agreed to see one of my clients who was screaming about backup problems.  Mix in some rescheduling, another client getting a new hard drive (which means a complete reinstall of everything), and there goes our day.

All I wanted was a little sleep and some sex.  And maybe some peace and quiet.

Still no word back from the fertility clinic on my test, but I believe everything looked ok from the ultrasound of Mrs. Geek's uterus.  I should have my results tomorrow, and hers after we meet with the doctor on Monday.

Other than that, I don't have anything exciting to say today. 

I'm tired.

My favorite podcaster is out of town this week, so no show.

On top of all that, the AMA road racing season ended last weekend.  Congratulations to Ben Spies, Matt Mladin and Suzuki for finishing 1, 2 in the championship, but now I'm forced to watch World Superbike and MotoGP for the rest of the season. There's an old story where W.C. Fields goes on a camping trip with a large collection of wine.  Their guide then procedes to lose the cork screw.  "So," he is famously quoted as saying, "we were forced to live on food and water for the remainder of the trip." 

What am I going to do with myself?

Oh, wait...there's always sleep?  Hmm....