5 posts tagged “love”
Was watching Real Time with Bill Maher this evening on HBO, and Cornel West had a great quote. I'm not sure what his intent was in saying this, but he mentioned something very interesting and thought-provoking: Justice is what love looks like in public. Discuss amongst yourselves.
QOTD: Is there anything made in your area that you love?
That can be interpreted SO many different ways.
- I love some of the local pizza delivered here. Deep dish, not that scrawny thin crust shit.
- A good Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard.
- Love. There is lots of love here, both made and consumed. Love of the land, love of the sea, and occasionally love of another human being with whom you've developed a connection.
- My family. Only Wife and Mother reside here; Brother and family are in the DC area, but I honestly love them all.
I'm not saying things are perfect. They're not.
I'm not saying everything's been pushed under the rug and forgotten. It hasn't.
But I do seem to have come around to a new-found sense of love and respect for Wife (please, hold your applause until the end). I really missed her when I was in Iowa for a few days. I'm making an effort to try and be more emotionally connected to her. Look deep into her eyes more often. Don't take it for granted that she's always going to do the dishes and clean the cat box (in fact, I plan to clean the bathroom tomorrow morning).
Then we get to play with our new digital camera --yea!!!!. Lots and lots of pictures of the boys (our three cats) will be forthcoming in the near future. Maybe even a couple of us. Or me. Then again, maybe not so much.
Right now I'm just really tired. I've been running in an Ambien Haze (wasn't that Jimi Hendrix song?) for the last couple of hours, and loving every minute of it. So, I'm going to sleep while there's still sleep to be gotten. And cuddle with Wife bunches. I don't know what changed, but I'm starting to really like her.
Maybe I've figured out some great mystery? Maybe I've come back to my senses. Or, maybe I'm just pretending. Either way, it's been 15 years together, 10 of them married, and I've been faithful for all of them. I think that speaks volumes about me.
I'm writing this while having a Pimms & Ginger Ale with a lemon twist; a very civilized drink, if I do say so myself. Just hits the spot in these warm, summer night.
Mrs. Grumpy Geek and I had our second session with Mr. Therapist Dude Tuesday evening. Overall the session went pretty well. I'm getting a better idea of how depressed she is, and how much she needs medication. The funk she's in affects her entire life -- job, marriage, friends, everything. She interprets what other people say in the worst possible way, assuming everything said about her is in some way a negative slight. I mention that I'm not happy (not that much of a stretch, as we are seeing a marital therapist) and she wonders whether I'd be better off married to someone else.
What do you say to a statement like that? Well, gee, it'd be great if Claudia Schiffer, April Scott or even Kate Hudson came by and begged me to fuck them, but we all know that's not going to happen. At least outside my fantasy life. Then she goes into this whole "pity party" routine telling me to find someone else, someone more attractive than her. And yes, some days it's tempting. Tempting to say, "OK, I'm going out whoring tonight". Except I really do love her. But it's really hard when she covers herself in sack cloth and ashes while wallowing in depression and self-pity. And I don't think I would be very successful at whoring. I'm not exactly rich or super good looking, although I'm pretty intelligent, well read, and one hell of a good...umm...well, I'm sure there's something. But I'm still far from my A-Game.
As for myself, my goals for marital therapy are to improve communications between us, and make sure that my needs (what ever they may turn out to be) are met. Yes, I'd like to be married to someone thin, gorgeous and happy. But I'm not. So, what's the next step? That's the real cliff hanger.
Mrs. Grumpy Geek and I had our first visit to the marital therapist this evening. It turns out both of us have been harboring some anger against the other, and neither of us is communicating well (or effectively) with the other.
This finally came to a head last week when we were about to have sex. Lying naked on the bed, next to Babeness, we suddenly started arguing instead of fucking. After a few rounds of "You're too fat -- lose some damned weight, already" followed by "what do you care -- you're never home to see me" it became clear there was plenty of anger, resentment, and lack of communication on both sides.
The thing is, we really do love each other. Underneath all the shit, and all of our problems, I think we're a good couple. When we go away together, removed from the problems and stresses of our daily lives, we have a great time. We're not talking irreconcilable differences here; but we definitely need a relationship tuneup. There's lots of thick black smoke emanating from our marital exhaust.
